What we do for love

This last week, I have heard so many kind words of encouragement and support while getting Mark through and recovered from surgery. I've been told I'm amazing, inspiring and devoted. I think to myself..."I'm just doing what anyone should do for the person they love." And while I truly appreciate what I've heard, it makes me stop to think..."What else would I do? Why wouldn't I go to visit my spouse at the hospital, walk with him down the halls of his ward/nursing unit, drive through traffic and keep him company while he recovers?" Wouldn't everyone else do the same? What do other people do for love? I have been fortunate to have the opportunity of not having to work and be able to stay home and take care of family members. I am very lucky to have that luxury. It saddens me when I hear friends talk about the things they "have to do" for their family, their loved ones. "I have to take so and so to practice." "I have to spend time with the in-laws." "I have to drive through traffic hour to take the spouse to an appointment because she can't drive herself." How sad...I feel blessed to be able to do things for my loved ones (so long as it's appreciated and not taken for granted). But there are so many other things I will do for love. I would move if I had to...I've had two dear friends move from "home" here in Southern California to start a life with the one they love. I am so happy for both of them. One of them has a beautiful home and is able to work from home. She and her husband are going to give their children a beautiful, wonderful life, because she made the choice to move away to a small town. My other dear friend moved away, with his few belongings, no set job or place to live and now has a fulfilling life. He and his spouse share a lovely home and have great jobs. He is also able to be affectionate in public with the man he loves because he is in a city that is accepting, the way it should be. There are so many things people will do for love...leave their families and friends, quit a job and move far away. Or it can be something simple like giving away the last bite of ice cream because you know how much your mate loves it. Maybe opening a door for someone, filling their gas tank or sharing a silly joke. Maybe people don't do enough and that's why it seems "amazing" and "incredible" when people hear of someone actually going out of their way for someone else? Makes me think of the Meatloaf song, "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that..." Hmm...what "that" would you not be willing to do? ;)

Little things mean a lot.

So, this being a very difficult week in our lives with Mark having surgery and a hospital stay, I've learned the lesson that little things mean a lot. My close circle of friends and loved ones, my true family, will ask me "How are you? How is Mark doing? How are YOU doing?" usually in that order...and I know they really want to know the answer, they're not just saying it as a formality. It's such a simple, short little question..."How are you?" and it means the world to a person who is going through something difficult. Just a quick text of a smiley face or heart can make a person's day. The kindness of strangers can make a world of difference when you're going through a tough phase. When I arrived at the hospital today, I helped a family find their way to the check in desk...not an easy task at Kaiser Sunset Medical Center. You have to take the elevator from the front entrance or parking structure to the second floor, navigate your way through a twisting hallway to the main hospital. The very pregnant wife in the family kept saying, "I'm so sorry. I cannot walk faster. You are very kind." I had to go there myself, why wouldn't I help show them the way? Mark's hospital food delivery person asked him tonight, "How are you feeling today, sir?" And I know she truly wanted to know. When Mark told her he was feeling okay, she said, "Well you get better sir. God bless." It took all but 2 minutes for a brief little conversation to take place, but it struck a chord in my heart that I will likely never forget. In the tradition of "pass it on" I thanked the custodian when he emptied the trash bin. He looked perplexed at first (probably something that never occurs, being thanked for doing his job), then smiled and said, "Oh, you are very welcome. Have a good night!" I even joked with the parking lot attendant about the ridiculous parking fees raised from $5 a day to $15...I asked if he was getting a raise to go with it. He said no, but had a good laugh about it. On my way home, I stopped in at a local take out food place and saw a lady attempting to buy dinner. She was 35 cents short...so I gave her the balance...she was thrilled and so thankful. She hugged me. So much for so little...it made my day. I sent a dear friend's son a personalized handmade birthday card. My friend told me he was so excited and kept staring at it asking, "She made this for me?" Again, so much for so little. Who could put a price on a child's smile and happiness? So, I guess what I'm saying is, fill your life with the little joys that make you happy and make others happy. Let someone know you're thinking about them, love them and care about them. Everyone deserves a little something in life to smile about, right?