Girls' Night

It's been a blessing for me the passed few days...I've had the pleasure of having 2 Girls' Nights. The first was spent with my cousin's girlfriend...more like a niece/little sister. We spent the night eating Thai food and catching up...comparing notes about dating, work, family and life in general. The differences we have in our lives are so far from each other, but it was nice having someone to talk to who listens and understands. She called it "time to decompress" from life. Dating to a 20 something is definitely different from what dating is to a 40 something. Such a different perspective of what we each want in a relationship, significant other and our lives ahead of us. But is amazing how a 14 year age gap doesn't affect how we both feel about overbearing parents, siblings and silly things we girls do and think about. She's the little sister I always wanted and I feel lucky to have her in my life. And this evening, I spent hours with my best gal pals (most of them anyway). They are the ones I have known since 2nd, 5th and 9th grade. How we have all managed to stay in touch and in each others' lives has truly amazed many. Our reason for gathering was one of them visiting from out of state...not that we really need a reason or excuse to want to get together, but it was fabulous. We feasted on a dinner I prepared and goodies brought by the crew...and of course some wine. Catching up is always fun, but to me...and I'm sure to the gals...it is therapy. A safe circle of friends to divulge secrets, dreams, hopes, disappointments and desires. A time to laugh, cry and just be. It never lasts long enough, but in our older age and obligations we tend to tire out sooner. Gone are the days of staying up to the wee hours of the morning gossiping, giggling and drinking. But the quality time we spent is something I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. I love hearing stories about their kids, jobs, trips and plans. As much as I love telling them about my life, the changes that have occurred and my hopes for the future. These are the friends who look out for me. The ones who are happy for me when something is going great. The ones who cry with me when I am sad. The ones I can call when I need someone to talk to. The ones I thank God for bringing them into my life and keeping them in my life. The ladies that know me best, my dear little family I have built for myself over the years.

So Long 2013,,,

So, it's time to say goodbye to another year.... 2013 was quite a year indeed. I learned many life lessons in the 12 months of 2013. Some I was not expecting or wanting, but others turned out to be life changing and wonderful. I learned to be kind and patient when dealing with the gravely ill. Nothing you do or say can make them feel better...sometimes silence or a mere, "I love you" is all they need. Just knowing you are there for them may be all the comfort and care needed to be at peace. I learned to be an advocate and stand up to doctors and nurses for the ones you love. They don't always know what's best. I've learned the true meaning of quality vs. quantity in life. Having all the time in the world doesn't always make for a happier life. I also learned it is not easy being on the "customer" end of planning a funeral...but it helps to have friends and years of experience in the business. I learned it's okay to show your weakness and frailty at your time of need to those that are willing to love and support you. I learned when you are at your lowest point in life, you truly learn who are the loves of your life and will do anything for you. I learned sometimes you have to be in the darkness for a long time to finally see the light in life and find your way out. I learned there are many benefits of having individual accounts versus joint accounts, even when married. I learned how to fight/demand the things that I am legally entitled to have. I learned how to transfer the title on a car and a house. I learned how to demand respect from people who think a single woman is easy prey to be victimized and taken advantage of in many different ways. I may be a girl, but I can still kick ass! I learned that despite all my fears and intimidations, I am able to be on my own and be happy...being alone doesn't have to mean loneliness, which can be a terrible feeling, but independence and finding the love within yourself can wipe it all away. I learned canine kids can be just as much a crazy, loving, frustrating, rewarding commitment as real kids. Unconditional love is a wonderful thing. I became stronger as a person in the sense of standing up for myself and allowing myself to voice my feelings and desires. I learned I can be passionate and caring, despite some people thinking it is inappropriate for a recently widowed woman to be "back on the market". I've also learned to open myself up to being loved and adored...something I thought would take forever and a day to get to again. And I've learned to love another person with my whole heart again and not let my fear of loss and being hurt to overrule my desire to be loved and in love. And I also learned that sometimes you only find your TRUE self when someone else finds YOU.