The Help

No, this is not a review of the movie "The Help", although Mark and I did recently see the movie. By the way, it was great...I highly recommend it. And it is not a "chick flick". I'm writing about hired help. We have recently determined I can no longer take care of myself, Mark and my grandmother...at least not in the care she want. There is a HUGE difference between what someone needs versus what they want. After a long, conversation with both myself and my mom, we convinced grandma to allow us to hire someone to help out. Our angel is a home care aid named Judith, who helped us out with my grandpa...she is a loving, patient woman and I feel fortunate to know her as a person and consider her a friend. In 5 hours, two days a week, she has been able to accomplish chores that would take grandma hours, even days to finish. AND she has given me time to devote to myself, Mark and most importantly some free time to find my sanity (which was misplaced a long time ago). I've been able to get out to spend time with my mom, get my butt to the gym, enjoy lunch out when Mark is feeling good and even get my nails done :) It's the little things that matter these days and it has been a wonderful feeling to be able to experience the little, joyful things in life. Mind you, it took some convincing of grandma for her to agree to "spend money" for someone to "take care" of her. We explained to her that she worked hard all her life, saved her money and now was the time for her to enjoy it and put it to good use before she dies...we reminded her that she cannot take her money with her. Judith has been able to get my grandmother to exercise (walking down the street a few house distance, which is something we have never been able to convince her to do). And she is using my stationary bicycle pedal "thing" to exercise her arms and legs....a miracle in my eyes! Judith has taught me that sometimes you have to hire someone to feel that you can ask them to do certain chores...something my grandmother has difficulty doing. She does not or will not ask for help with chores or favors. My assumption is when you are paying someone, you want to optimize the amount of work you get out of them? But Judith assures me she loves what she does and it does not feel like work for her. An angel, indeed! She takes the time to listen and talk to grandma, which is the part she NEEDS that I can't seem to find the time to do. So, like in so many situations, someone who is hired as "help" one person is in actuality helping a whole family. We are learning to cope with aging, illness, patience and finding the ability to ask for help, not expect it. And those are things you can't put a price on. :)