All I want for Christmas

There is a lovely post floating around on Facebook reminding people that amidst the festive celebrations of the holidays, to take a moment to remember there are those who are not so happy this time of year....those who are less fortunate, grieving losses, or maybe have to be alone for the holidays. I will admit, I was not looking forward to the holiday season this year. They can be quite lonesome and depressing. I was happy to be on a date for Halloween, but disappointed when there was no follow up. I skipped the annual placing of poinsettia plants on the graves this year, leaving the duty to mom. I honestly wasn't in the mood to see all the names of loved ones carved in granite on the ground. Cemeteries really aren't my thing...at least not for paying respects to those long gone. I prefer to remember loved ones daily, in my heart...where flowers aren't necessary. Like every time I see a pretty piece of jewelry or handbag, I think of Auntie Hiroko. Or hear a motorcycle engine, I think of Mark. And when I hear a funny joke, I think of my pop. And every loss is a great one....whether it be a parent, spouse, child or friend. There is a deep connection that is suddenly cut off in your life. And it takes time to heal...longer for some than others. Love and support help, but I truly believe the person has to be ready to heal and move on. I have been fortunate to spend some quality time with friends in recent weeks...even having the joy of extended phone calls, texts and on-line chats with distant friends. And I have been blessed with meeting someone special and spending time getting to know him. I am learning to be happy and allow love in my life again. I am once again excited to celebrate the holidays with someone I care about...to share laughs, smiles and kisses. Although we won't be together on Christmas day, the spirit of the holiday is what matters most. My wish for Christmas is for everyone reading this to reach out to someone who might not be in a place to feel that love, excitement and joy the rest of us are blessed enough to have. Maybe a relative who would appreciate a visit. Or a friend who might need a quick chat and cup of coffee with someone. Or even a stranger on the streets who could use a jacket or blanket with colder weather in the forecast. It might even be your spouse or kid, who got yelled at for something silly...hugs and smiles go a long way this time of year.

42..

So...I'm 42. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about turning a year older...climbing higher into the 40s. But, I am fine with it. I must admit, I do not feel 42. I'm told I do not look 42 either. I was spoiled with many celebrations with many friends and loved ones, starting with an intimate dinner with my second family (with surprise cake and balloons), a gorgeous day out at the Getty Museum (including a picnic lunch), a fabulous dinner out to Roy's in Downtown L.A., a casual gathering at my dear friends' house (with roses and another surprise cake...this time ice cream cake), brunch with my gal pals, belated celebration lunch with mom, and I got to see my best friend several times during a brief visit from San Francisco. Not to mention multiple phone calls, cards, Facebook messages and well wishes from all over. I feel blessed and so loved to have so much to be thankful for in my life. It has been a most challenging year for me in many ways, but it has also been a year filled with new beginnings, self discovery, growth and change for the better. I do not remember the last time I felt so little stress in my life. I find myself smiling and laughing every day, which has taken a long time to get to. I appreciate each moment I spend with a friend or loved one. I find joy in the little things in life...like a sweet smelling rose, a perfectly ripened strawberry, a silly moment with the canine kids, or a gentle kiss from that someone I care so much about. Life has given me more than my share of lessons, heartaches and losses. I feel like I've experienced more in 10 years than most people do in their entire lifetime. But each event has made me stronger, more understanding, more loving and especially more appreciative of every thing and person I have in my life. I have been blessed with wonderful friends, old and new. I inherited my mom's zest for life, generosity, creativity and compassion. I inherited my dad's sense of humor, common sense, technical skills (some), and passion for cooking and helping others. My grandparents blessed me with financial intelligence, a house to call my home, gardening skills and proof that love can endure the test of time. My wonderful friends have given me the irreplaceable gift of love and support through thick and thin, not letting distances or life events make a dent in the bond we have with one another. They all give me something unique as individuals, but together...they make my life complete. And love has come back into my life, in more ways than I could ever imagine. I have been fortunate to make connections with different individuals who have made me learn to appreciate and love myself, see beauty when I look in the mirror, and allow myself to feel worthy of happiness and love again. And although I did not meet them the traditional way of meeting people, I feel blessed to have made some very special friends. And I'll admit, some of these connections were brief friendships, but I have learned to believe people come into our lives for some purpose, whether it is for a day, a week or a lifetime. Each person I've met has made some impact on my life...maybe not in an grand, significant way, but there are always lessons to be learned. I think back to the days of childhood...when you made special wishes for the things you want for your birthday...a new doll, a bike, a video game or roller skates. And now, I think of the new list of things I want...good health, friends and family, love and passion, and an appreciation for life and the freedom/time to enjoy it. I am blessed to have all these things.