Compassion and love...

Over the last 6 months, Dave and I have been working for a family as caregivers to a stroke recovery patient. He is 81 years old and we started with him the week after his stroke. Little did we know that a simple part time job I applied for would turn into meeting people what have changed our lives. I signed up with an agency for caregivers in the Los Angeles area. I received a text that a particular family was interested in meeting with me. I visited the home (a quick 7 minute drive from home) and met with the husband, wife and their daughter. I immediately felt a bond with them. I could tell they were scared for what the future held for them. Dad was unable to get out of bed. Although his speech was not hindered, he had many physical issues. Within an hour of meeting them, they wanted to hire me. The problem was they wanted full time hours and I was only able to give part time due to my financial aid and my potential class schedule. They asked if I knew anyone who could help out. I said, "Yes! My boyfriend Dave has care giving experience!" They met with him the next day and we were hired! I has been an amazing journey. Our client is now walking without the assistance of devices. His love of golf has triggered a spark in him, as we practice putting regularly as a treat. It is amazing to see his physical "inabilities" disappear when he stands and concentrates on hitting the ball. You'd never know he is a stroke recovery patient! Dave and I have taken the role of physical therapists as well. I sit in on sessions once every 2 weeks and replicate the exercises with him daily. We take walks together, attempting to increase the length and difficulty each time. Dave does an amazing job with strength building and stretching exercises. I have used my personal experience of carpal tunnel surgery recovery from years ago to come up with exercises that are fun and interesting. He has even been able to write his name legibly with his affected hand, something he is beyond thrilled about. Dave and I share technology information with him...showing him YouTube videos on our phones. He cried when I played him a video of his favorite Indian performer Ravi Shankar play the sitar with his daughter, something he hadn't heard in years. Our client has taught us so many things in return. I have learned about Indian culture. He was a professor at USC and enjoys conversations about culture, religion and politics. He inspires both of us with his courage and determination to overcome his stroke injuries and try to live a "normal" life. The dedication his wife shows by her patience and love is inspiring as well. It reminds me of my days of taking care of Mark and my grandparents. By showing compassion and love to this client, who feels more like family now, Dave and I have learned to be more patient, understanding and kind. We have been gifted with love and gratitude in return from this family. I feel blessed and honored to be in a position to help someone who truly appreciates what we do. It makes this "job" feel like doing what comes natural to both of us.

Missing you...

Today, as with all days, I miss you. I miss the laughter and silliness we shared. The way you'd surprise me by fixing something I thought was a goner. The meals out and the "stay in for the nights" at home. The road trips to visit your Aunt and Grandma. The weekends raiding thrift store and yard sales for treasures. The cool music we both loved. The "weird" music you loved but I just didn't get. Our shared love for horror and the macabre. Our many trips to a cemetery to take pictures of celebrity graves and beautiful statues. Your tech savvy ways. Your failed attempts of making me pancakes or souffles. Your quiet strength. Your ticklish nature. The sincerity of your crooked smile. I miss your gentle hands. The chocolate Kisses you'd leave for me on my desk. The way you knew when I was having a bad day. Coming home to a warm bath and candle light waiting for me. I miss your courage. The amazing way you fought through your pain. The determination you had to disprove the doctors. Your stubbornness. The many scars that reminded me of your difficult life. I miss all the bad times, as much as I miss the good times. The late night runs to the ER when we didn't know what was wrong. The long waits at the doctors' office when we made the best of a bad situation...watching Jerry Springer and playing games on our phones. The nights in the hospital, when we'd stay up all night talking about what our future held for us and all the fears we shared. I even miss the last days I had with you. Talking about how you wanted your last days to be spent. Who you wanted to see, what you wanted to experience before you left us. I miss watching you sleep at night, wondering if it was the last time. The devastation I felt when you were gone, has subsided to the comfort of knowing your pain was gone. The quiet way you passed and the peace finally took over your face. I miss you my love, my friend, my dear. And I love you...forever.