Missing you...

Today, as with all days, I miss you. I miss the laughter and silliness we shared. The way you'd surprise me by fixing something I thought was a goner. The meals out and the "stay in for the nights" at home. The road trips to visit your Aunt and Grandma. The weekends raiding thrift store and yard sales for treasures. The cool music we both loved. The "weird" music you loved but I just didn't get. Our shared love for horror and the macabre. Our many trips to a cemetery to take pictures of celebrity graves and beautiful statues. Your tech savvy ways. Your failed attempts of making me pancakes or souffles. Your quiet strength. Your ticklish nature. The sincerity of your crooked smile. I miss your gentle hands. The chocolate Kisses you'd leave for me on my desk. The way you knew when I was having a bad day. Coming home to a warm bath and candle light waiting for me. I miss your courage. The amazing way you fought through your pain. The determination you had to disprove the doctors. Your stubbornness. The many scars that reminded me of your difficult life. I miss all the bad times, as much as I miss the good times. The late night runs to the ER when we didn't know what was wrong. The long waits at the doctors' office when we made the best of a bad situation...watching Jerry Springer and playing games on our phones. The nights in the hospital, when we'd stay up all night talking about what our future held for us and all the fears we shared. I even miss the last days I had with you. Talking about how you wanted your last days to be spent. Who you wanted to see, what you wanted to experience before you left us. I miss watching you sleep at night, wondering if it was the last time. The devastation I felt when you were gone, has subsided to the comfort of knowing your pain was gone. The quiet way you passed and the peace finally took over your face. I miss you my love, my friend, my dear. And I love you...forever.