What cancer has taught me.

The experience of care taking for someone battling cancer has taught me many things. I have become enlightened to what a good, no...a GREAT nurse is capable of doing for their patients. The honesty and true expression of compassion my husband and I received today was amazing. I've learned cancer doesn't only make an impact on the patient, it impacts all the lives around the patient. I've learned that being busy isn't when you have 2 birthday parties to shop for and cupcakes to make for those parties...Being busy is having back to back doctor appointments, multiple visits in a week to the lab/pharmacy for tests, x-rays, ct scans, and prescriptions for new pills to counteract the side effects the old pills are causing. Being tired isn't running a marathon or working 2 hours over time...Being tired is not sleeping night after night because you're in pain, you're worried about whether or not treatments will work this time or you're sick to your stomach because of the poison you have running through your veins. Frustration isn't what you feel because your kid's grades aren't as high as you want or you didn't get that raise you've been waiting for...Frustration is not being able to do the things you love in life because you feel exhausted and weak from not having an appetite or any energy. It's the feeling of your body failing to do what you want it to do because it is sick. Patience isn't waiting for your Cafe' Grande to be prepared by the new barista...Patience is not losing your temper when your loved one turns down everything you offer for them for comfort, because you know in your heart that maybe nothing you EVER offer can give them the comfort they need or seek. (but you keep trying anyway). Devotion isn't expressed by flowers on your anniversary or going to church on a Sunday...Devotion is sitting with someone while they are in pain and even though you know you can't do anything to help them, you're still there to hold their hand and let them know they're not alone. And cancer has taught me that sometimes you have to hit the lowest point in your life to find out how wonderful your loved ones and true friends are and can be. They are the ones who surprise you with a night out, make you laugh harder than you've laughed in months, call just to ask how you are, and light candles or send prayers for you in hopes that soon everything will be fine.