Thursday, June 6, 2013

What's your problem??!!

Just recently I decided to create profiles and take a peek around at Match.com and eHarmony. No, I'm not looking for a boyfriend/husband...I’m looking for friendship and am curious about this whole online dating craze. I want to get a feel for what it's like to be out on the market and to see what type of men I attract. I started with the "just browsing" guest memberships...of course until you do a regular paid membership, you cannot communicate with your "matches" or see their profile pictures. So I took the plunge...perhaps it was a mistake. For some reason, the system does not recognize that I specified "within 30 miles of Los Angeles"....some of my matches include San Diego, Oregon, Texas and Alabama. And let me tell you something, talk about culture shock! There are pictures of men on their horses, one looked like it was from the show Duck Dynasty, and another was so blurry, I wasn't sure it was a man or bigfood. What the heck? Do people not understand this is a place where you are putting yourself out there to a potential mate...you are marketing yourself. You should be putting out information to attract the opposite sex. Don't post pictures of yourself with an 80's haircut and try to pull it off as a recent one and then the next one of you has less hair (which is suddenly gray) and there is much more of your body. And don't use the one of you and your ex with her face blurred out. Do you really think the photo of you in the bathroom, shirtless and holding your cell phone up to the mirror is your best shot? No, I don't need to see pictures of your expensive condo in one city and your "paid way too much because I am insecure about my penis size" car. And how about spell check or getting someone who graduated above the 5th grade to check your description of who you are and what you're looking for in a mate? Honestly, let's be real...you are not "athletic build" if you are 60 pounds overweight but played football back 20 years ago in high school. Sheesh. My personal experiences with people I've met online have been mixed. There is a nice guy, who lives local. But he can't spell. Or put a sentence together with punctuation. He wrote to me, "I gots a good job am desent man and will take you to Vegas to see UFC matches." Um, no...I'm good. I don't need to go to Las Vegas with someone I've never met to watch a bunch of sweaty guys beat each other up. He continued with, "Maybe you cooking dinner for us and we have a nice nigt thank you for reading hope to hear back have a good night bye." Hey, Tarzan...go back to school and learn something. Good lord, my editing skills are screaming at me for writing it out that way :( And another gentleman...super nice, sweet, good on paper, but lives out of state...way over on the east coast. I told him after he initially emailed me I was not interested in long distance. He asked if we could be friends, so I said fine. We decided to text one another. Things were going great, friendly getting to know you type stuff. Then the bomb. He asked what I was doing this weekend. I told him I was going to a Brazilian all you can eat restaurant with a friend. He asked, "Will you take me sometime?" I jokingly said, "Sure, if you're ever in Los Angeles." Then the bomb..."I'm willing to relocate for the right woman. So far so good for you. I haven’t had much luck on Match.com, but I did find you." Ugh...What's your problem!!???!!! His next text was, "So, am I everything you're looking for in a man, cutie?" AARRRGGGHHH!!! Really? After 3 brief email exchanges, 2 hours of on again off again texting you're ready to consider moving across the country, uproot your young daughter and now I have a pet name of Cutie??? I tell ya, it's tough out there and these guys don't make it any easier to have faith in meeting some decent, good quality men. Even just for friendship! And men think women are psycho? I'm sure this is the first of many blogs about my new adventures. Can't wait til I start dating again! That's going to be super fun and entertaining ;)

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